Bernie from "Weekend At Bernies" Lives on my commute

Dudes. So this is a commuter blog. Every day, well days i work past 5:30, haha, there is this dude on a rather busy street i drive home on, and I am going to do my best to describe the homie because he is legit Bernie from weekend at Bernies. If you have not seen that movie, tune in to shitty cable station sometime in the middle of the weekend and i guarantee it is on somewhere.

so this dude stands in front of his house, facing the street traffic. he always has 80s round, mirrored sunglasses on with a USC sweatshirt, and short shorts. Honestly for visual on the dude, do a quick google image search for Bernie.

The guy stands legs should width apart. he spreads his arms to maximize his wingspan, almost in a crucifix stance. He then begins doing a half squat. actually, tht is too generous. a 1/3 squat. No headphones, no ipod, no portable a-track player, but the man is rocking out to something funky in that dome.

Once he gets the squat going, he takes his left hand and brings it into his chest, as if doing a sobriety test. At this same rhythm, he lifts his right leg, straight, like kicking a soccer ball. He then switches, right arm, left leg. He then switches. All to the beat of the cars, and by cars, I mean the Richard Simmons Mix tape.

I witness all this in about 15-45 second increments, and have seen his routine from start to finish. After the street side aerobics, the dude goes for a run.

These aerobics are so strangely orchestrated, the only real way to relate it to normal human action is the way Bernie was strung up and carried around like a Marionette Doll. Man I wish you could see this awesome workout. If he videoed it, he could air it on TV station and I swear it would actually be one of our top programs for the fat old ladies who watch our station.