Someone leaves

Barbie decided to leave today. Forced, or on her own free will i dont know. But below is the email i sent her. She is, after all, my first boss, and took a chance on me. I owe her, and know i have battled with her, but i do wish her the best.

Dear Barbie,

I have to admit I am shocked you are leaving, but I am also confident you are headed to bigger and better things. You have been working to get with Warren Miller since our sales call to Tahoe (great trip by the way) and I am so happy you will be a part of something with him.

I have to write you because you are officially my first “real” boss. You took a chance on me, and thus you allowed me to start my career at such a great place. I think it should be a real testament to you that Puga and I have “survived” the ever changing TV20 because you were the driving force along with Denny teaching us and keeping us going.

I think your first boss is like your Kindergarten teacher, you never forget them (Ms. Rose, room 1A, Brown hair). I know that wherever I end up in the next year, 5 years, and beyond in my pursuit for my place in the corporate world of media , I will always be calling on my experience here at TV20, and the boss who took a chance with me all because of my website and experience as a captain of a sports team. For that, I am ever grateful to you.

I am always here and will always be here to help your kids through their water polo careers, hit Squaw slopes with you, or grab a beer of cocktail somewhere here in the city of the Peninsula. In the mean time while you are here, I will allow you to break the news to the Kitchenworks of our world the sad news you are leaving. You have been a staple here at KOFY for 25 years, and it is sad to see the change is ever present here. I am so glad you are headed to produce…that was always an itch you wanted to scratch!

Best of luck. Never delete my cell phone number or email!

Cheers-

Will

It "brought a tear" to her eye because she knows "i have so much potential in any field i choose." I hope her the best.

Accountabili-buddy Round 2

He is back...this time in multiple forms. He is not just Chaz calling me into meeting after meeting about where my accounts stand, what i have pending, and so on and so forth...The Accountabili-buddy has become ever present in multiple forms.

It started with an email from the CEO of the company that owns TV station. He began it with a simple economic lesson he cut and pasted from his recent issue of the Wall Street Journal. It then bled into a "we are freezing wages...we are making cut backs...i am taking a 12% salary cut...but i am still flying to each and every station i own in a private jet..."

Our station is pretty trim, and my job is not in limbo, but i fear others jobs are. I have made some new business closes, but it is just not enough for this sinking ship. i just stumbled upon a piece of paper that as I stand right now, I was responsible for 15% of the money brought in November. Between runner and I, we bring in over 45% of all the money in the station, yet we are by far the lowest paid. We see our new found colleagues sitting at their desk, collecting their six figure base, not even caring about making new business help keep this boat afloat.

Anyway, there are too many thoughts in this head about what I have to do about x, y, z client tomorrow to convince them that they should spend what little or no money they have left on me and marketing to people who have no money to spend on them...it is an interesting beast i call a job.

The Call Center formally known as an Office

We have a cold call room now. Equipt with 1980's phones and an internet connection. sales staff. go ahead and feel free to go make 10-20 cold calls in there a day. just use it. i know it is hard to call people with 8 other people in there. so hop up there. it will be fun.

oh, and by Friday. send me a status report with all your 2009 annual new business client meetings you have schedule this week.

thanks-
chaz

_________

yup. that is what we are working with. this level of "flame-under-ass" will only be ratcheted up exponentially. I am thankful i didnt leave jobs, because at the other place i would be lowest on totem pole when chief little shorts decides to chop heads. here at least i am the 2nd longest lasting AE.

again. lets pray i make some huge closes to keep lil Chaz off my back, and lil guy here off the chopping black.

Tightening our Belts

It has been a little over a month since my last post. Since then, there happened to be the biggest stock market crash since, well i dont know my economic history all the well, but since before i was born. We all know what has ensued via the government etc.

well, to date TV Station is doing alright actually. Each quarter we are growing, and in comparison to all other broadcast station here in our beautiful area, we are the only one retaining, if not growing. everyone else...is struggling. a precursor may have been a "jewelry now" advertisment playing in prime time during the Olympics a few months back (that is ridiculous that a 150 buck spot ran where a 45,000 buck spot should have) but hey, lets look forward.

so, as 2009 marketing plans start to get laid down, Chaz and his bosses, and their bosses, are really on our asses to close new business. today we were told to close new business so "the company does well, so sales looks good, and oh yeah so you make money". the last cheviot of sorts right there really is the last thing on our bosses mind. they dont care if we make money. they care if we make our budgets. But, although todays sales meeting was rather laid back, the stress is slowly starting to rachet up, WAY up.

so, to help with our revenue, we partnered with another station in our area, who carry real shows like LOST and OPRAH. OOOOHHHHHPRAH. Fuck yeah, love that show. This partnership is a joint sales effort. we have a "package" to sell to clients for 12 months. spots run on their good programs, and our. we split to revenue. everyone wins. right? this is the focus on all our backs. our boss has us making cold calls, or at least is trying, like none other. here is were the global recession is starting to affect my life...

we have cold called, i have met with, and truthfully, i have KILLED it with a few new business clients. I have presented unreal deals, that really would work for their marketing. all these deals are in the pending mode. a year ago economically, i would have closed 100% of these, with all confidence. i am sure of it. but this year, everyone is "taking a sharp pencil to all expenditures" or "trying to figure out what to keep, and what to halt, and what to even market" or my personal favorite from a client "Will are you fucking kidding? have you read a news paper. we are NOT trying new advertising right now."

our bosses have to know this. our bosses have to know what we are up against on a rival station front, and also on a economic front. but they sure as shit dont show it. no no. fearless leaders can never admit to weakness. so we have to trudge on. pray that i get at least 1 of these pending deals to close, and ride this wave with the rest of U.S. American.

Bernie from "Weekend At Bernies" Lives on my commute

Dudes. So this is a commuter blog. Every day, well days i work past 5:30, haha, there is this dude on a rather busy street i drive home on, and I am going to do my best to describe the homie because he is legit Bernie from weekend at Bernies. If you have not seen that movie, tune in to shitty cable station sometime in the middle of the weekend and i guarantee it is on somewhere.

so this dude stands in front of his house, facing the street traffic. he always has 80s round, mirrored sunglasses on with a USC sweatshirt, and short shorts. Honestly for visual on the dude, do a quick google image search for Bernie.

The guy stands legs should width apart. he spreads his arms to maximize his wingspan, almost in a crucifix stance. He then begins doing a half squat. actually, tht is too generous. a 1/3 squat. No headphones, no ipod, no portable a-track player, but the man is rocking out to something funky in that dome.

Once he gets the squat going, he takes his left hand and brings it into his chest, as if doing a sobriety test. At this same rhythm, he lifts his right leg, straight, like kicking a soccer ball. He then switches, right arm, left leg. He then switches. All to the beat of the cars, and by cars, I mean the Richard Simmons Mix tape.

I witness all this in about 15-45 second increments, and have seen his routine from start to finish. After the street side aerobics, the dude goes for a run.

These aerobics are so strangely orchestrated, the only real way to relate it to normal human action is the way Bernie was strung up and carried around like a Marionette Doll. Man I wish you could see this awesome workout. If he videoed it, he could air it on TV station and I swear it would actually be one of our top programs for the fat old ladies who watch our station.

"She got off the hook and slipped away"

Yesterday was a shitty day in my sales world. 2 deals fell through in the matter of about 10 minutes. all done over email, which is bullshit. i mean, if i have to pitch you in person, if i have to slave away and swallow my pride and kiss your ass in person to get you to listen to me, at least pick up the phone and tell me why it is you cant fit my plan into your plan. both marketing concepts i devised, were flawless. they were cheap. they were creative. they reached EXACTLY who they were trying to reach, but at the end of the day, going with something new just doesnt sit well with people.

So deal 1 was for this auto show. that alone has red flags all over it. anything with the car industry is sleazy by nature, and in this day and time, has no money. however, the ad agent i was working with has been around since the stone ages, legit is about 80 years old, and in theory, works by the old boys network codes. this means, if i do him a solid, he does me a solid. this simple concept made it only right for him to throw me a bone.

a few months back i had our editorial department to cover his client on some bullshit story. it was not news worthy, but they did it anyway because money was promised from this future HUGE event.

i worked back and forth with him and handed him EXACTLY what he wanted. the last meeting we had, he was repeating "we can only do our best" and shit like that, which is now a clear red flag.

anyhow, he said he met with the sleaze balls, and they passed on our "great idea". the dude emailed me this, and basically screwed me over.

deal number 2, with a new development tonight, may not totally be dead, and this is ONLY because i reasoned with the marketing director and my idea was literally too good to pass up. This is too boring of a story, so I will just keep you on the edge of the seat to see if any cash money comes out of it.

Anyhoo, when i forward these to Chaz, he came running to my office, and kinda cracked me up. he was screaming "damnit. she came off the hook! She came loose. Lets get it back on"

He also told me he will break the old dudes balls because he totally effed us on this whole "scratch my back, i scratch yours".

Oh shit**. My car got broken into, but they didnt steal shit

About 6 weeks ago, i am walking downtown and come across a pile of broken car window glass. What would a normal human think? nothing most likely. Oh sucks for that guy. But what does Will think? Let me tell you...

I run into a store and ask for a plastic back. I go back to the glass, and scoop all of it up into the bag. I put this bag in the trunk of my car, where it sits for 6 weeks... waiting for the perfect target at the perfect time. 

So, last week, the dude from our competition got rear ended. nothing major, but his car was in the shop getting painted. 

So, home boy was driving his girlfriends car. 

PERFECT SITUATION. 

I get Runner in on this. We notice the guy going into a meeting with our boss. I run into his office, and find his car keys. Runner is taking photo documentation of this entire deal. 

I get the keys, grab the glass, and head to the car, which is perfectly parked outside Runners window. I turn car on, and roll down the passenger side window. I spread the broken glass along the window, sill, and the dump the pile below the window, where the glass would naturally fall. I run back inside, put keys back in, hop back at desk. Business as normal. 

Lunch rolls around. 

Home boy gets keys, and walks outside. At this point, a few other friends at work (cool dudes, will talk about later) have piled into Runners cube watching this as it unfolds. He falls for it hook line and sinker. He is pacing around his car face bright red, Runner snapping pictures away, Office watching rolling on the floor. Homey starts walking back into office. Again, we dart to desks, business as usual. He comes in "my car window is smashed and they didn't steal anything. what the fuck"

Runner gets camera, begins showing him photos from "a playboy party to cheer him up" . They are a montage of his car, him finding car, him searching car, him red in face. He is so flustered, he is confused. I go "Hey Cron, roll up the window. Its not broken."

Entire office start DIEING. Him included. I am on the floor laughing, he is hyperventilating because it is so funny. He cleans up car, and marks it as the greatest work prank ever. 

Where is Autumn? No joke, in her cube, not acknowledging any of this, and when I sit back at my cube, all i hear is a "ughhhhhhh. Godddddddddddd"

I'm back...

So much has happened in this hiatus, I dont even know where to begin. In short, I got a promotion and raise, and have been working like a mad man ever since. I am really trying to close these new deals, and new ideas, and new TV shows because, sadly, it will make me some solid cash money if I do. That isnt my only motivation. If i get some of my own initiatives, and clients, and ideas on the air, I will really have something to put on my resume which is worth more than any commission check. 

not much has changed. 3 new guys were hired. One is a typical saleman. He is full of shit, cant sit still, and every, and i mean EVERY sentence that comes out of his mouth has a sales pitch attached to it. Whether he is trying to sell you on taking a cookie he brought in, or that "he has the deal of a lifetime for you Auto Guy, better sit down", he annoys this shit out of me. He is about 50 years old. 

Dude number two is a Latin mo fo. He is about 50-55 and I too am not a fan of his. he is harmless, means nothing in his actions, but brings nothing to the personality table. I think he thought he was going to make a shit load of money here. newsflash, its TV station. 

Dude number 3 comes from our competition. He is really nice, down to earth, and is a no bullshit human being. i respect him, i like him, and I think he will soon be my future Boss, just under Chaz. 

Chaz, by the way, and I have become best buds. Keep you enemies closer, right? 

ugggghh, Shhhh. Goddddddddddddd

I cant remember if i talked about Autumn. No, not the season, the annoying middle aged women who sits in cube behind me. Well, here comes a rant. 

Autumn is a bad person. Autumn is a mean person. Autumn is a greedy person. These are all extremely harsh, I know, but it sadly is the only way to describer her. Day in and day out, she is yelling and condescending people both in our office, and on the phone. She is the type of person that when gets rear ended by someone in a parking lot, and there is zero car damage, she sues the poor young girl because "her neck and back are just so messed up she cant work out anymore'. (this happened, and trust me, this chick never works out.)

The other day I literally had bee working so much to get these proposals out, that on the friday around lunch time, i took a trip to Slacker Town USA. I went to You Tube, and I came across the funniest fucking videos i have ever seen. (www.failblog.org is the greatest website for a rather educational (not) laugh). I am literally sitting in my cube, while Runner is in his watching same videos, laughing out loud. At one point, I am crying, leaning back in my chair while all in the office come watch the snow driving in Portland. The entire time this is going on, she is in her cube (not quietly or even under her breath) saying "ugggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh" and "pshhhhhhhhhhhh" and "goooooooooood" as if she is so much better than me, and SOOOO much busier than me. In reality, I am busier than her, and hitting more clients than her. Yet, she is "a Senior AE" which means jac shit to me really, she thinks she owns the place.

When a person is constantly condescending, mean, and overall just nasty to people, i really cant stand it. I cant look this women in the eye, it is that bad. She thinks me and Runner and SO below her, yet we are working at the same place, with the same title, and I have the same accounts and quotas.

Deep down, I know this women must not be happy in life. I feel bad for that, to a certain degree, until this unhappiness in her lifes decisions and career moves invades and hurts other people. 

If you guys ad heard her ream this poor little insurance adjuster, who literally was just a data entry guy, had no power over her claims, you would know then and there what line she falls on the humanity spectrum. 

Been a long time...

Well, its has been a long time since i updated the world of TV station to you avid readers. I have been preoccupied with a lot of great things and great people so I usually do not get home before 10PM and really just want to go to sleep.

i have been playing soccer and water polo which has been a god send. soccer is a great way to get out some pent up aggression towards Chaz and TV Station on a whole.

No, my outlook on the station has not changed. I have come to just not care about it any more. I do just enough to stay succesful...which is still more than a few i work with sadly. I literally made 3 calls the other day, and set up 3 meetings. Thats all my bosses can ask me to do. Because, form there...TV station speaks for itself.

So...what has happened? In short:

Frat Matt either got fired, or he left. I think he may have left..but the writing was on the wall.

Another senior member, head of production left, but again, it was definite he was asked to leave.

I have closed a few small deals and put out some big fires.

Thats all that sticks in my head. To be honest, i have checked out mentally here. I can stand the people minnus runner and my assistants, and i have really see this station failing miserably in a few months to a year. I will not be there much longer (i know i know i have said that for months)

frick.

i just wrote a fucking long ass account of my meeting to renegotiate my contract, and myinternet fucked it up.

in short, i got what i want, verbally. in sales world, verbal means jack shit. however, in chaz's defense, the ma fucker loves me and is going to get me more money.

more to come.

Throw me a bone here...

Friday, the second to last day of the quarter, we finally got our budgets. I will update more tomorrow when i try to do some negotiations begin...but here are a few nice littles talking points.

Chaz waited to the last fricken second to give us our Budgets. Runner went in first, it was quick, and from what he tells me his are ridiculous and he did not sign them, and will also be negotiating tomorrow.

Jameson went next. His was not short, and he fought a little with Chaz form what I hear, and that situation will come to a head I am sure.

Somehow Frat and the other lady still have their jobs. I am seriously astounded and also a little irked. I know the lady makes more money than me, and she does NOTHING. She literally is "prospecting in Metropolis" when everyone knows there is no money there, and she happens to live there.

I was the last one in there. Why? I dont know. It was stressful, though. I mean, i have been applying elsewhere, and i have not lifted a finger at work really so...it wasnt a total stretch they could have fired my ass.

So, at 5:25PM on a Friday, i was called in, and handed my budgets. The excel spread sheet was so all over the place, and so hard to read. I sat and looked at it while chaz talked. and talked. and talked. and talk. but said nothing. His rather obvious, and not well hidden tactic in every sales pitch, meeting, and budget dishing out, is to just fucking talk. talk so much, no one else can get their 2 cents in...and then when he stops, you just want to say, fuggit, and agree to him just to shut him th efuck up.

i looked it over, it was high...but he was harping on the bone he threw us. Any new business we get on the air we get a straight 10% commission on it, regardless of the budget goal.

I will, in no way, make my goal this quarter. I can say that, knowing even if i worked 80 hour weeks, and hammered out 100 calls a week, i wouldnt.

So, next steps: still fight for a higher base. I had my first commission check this past month, and the extra 500 bucks i got (after billing 45,000 mind you), was a life saver. Too bad i can spend tht money on something awesome like a well deserved/much needed new surf board.

more to follow tomorrow. wish me luck with my job search.

Labor Law

Side note.
In the 3 amigo pow wow. We all were discussing our taxes, and how much money and miles we had used on our cars. we all started talking about how unjust it is we do not get any sort of compensation. every other salesdude we know either has at least one, if not all of the following:
1. company car.
2. state mandated compensation for mileage on car
3. gas allowance.

we get none of it...and we just heard that it may be law for employers who require outside driving for work to compensate the state set amount per mile.

i have my legal team looking into it. East Coast reader...help me out...we are talking between 6-10,000 bucks here, no joke.

The 3 Amigos Unite.

In our Tuesday meeting today, after all the usual bullshit, ass kissing, inquisitional questionnaires, and "updates" and "here is whats to come", Jameson asked what was on all (well, me, runners, and Jameson because A) we know what the fuck is going on with our job and B) because we know what the bosses are REALLY up to) our minds.

Chaz: Anyone have anything else? Any Questions.

Jameson: I have a question (staring the boss boss GM in the face, in a very stern tone)

Chaz: Ok.

Jameson: Where are our 2Q budgets, seeing as April starts in 10 days?

Silence for a gooooood 15 seconds. It seemed like eternity. As the head head boss fumbled to get the elephant out of the room, and figure out how to answer such a simple questions. He retorts, literally.

Boss Boss: Um...ahh...um. Well, you know we are busy working on those, Chaz is new, and I am new at this, so we are working with the numbers and will have those to you by next week. I mean, from what i can tell you since the stations budgets are up, yours will be, and we will look at a higher than 2Q07 number...

Chaz: (butting in like a fucking shit head) Lets just focus on sales. Sell out this green marathon, and then we will talk.

So, because i have a solid head on my shoulders, and so does Runner, we both independently took this away from that convoluted, cursory answer.

1. Our budgets are going to be astronomical
a. mine for feb was 42,000, march was 48,000
b. In 2Q07 which was the first quarter i started, my budget was 60,000. I have never billed over 35000 in a month.
2. We will not be making a commission any time soon.
3. We will not be given a base increase.
4. Chaz is a tool.
5. We will both be working 15x as hard, and making no money to show for it.

So, needless to say, Jameson was pissed, and called them out, saying quiet frankly thats unacceptable, and they conceded because, if you are a sales organization, you fucking sales people better have a DAMN good idea oh how they are getting paid.

So, Jameson, Runner and I called a sit down at our local chinese food joint. We all laid out our interpretations of the events at the station. We all agreed on this:

1. Us three have been acknowledged as the backbone, shit the entire body of the sales staff.
2. We are underpaid
3. Runner and I should be given raises
4. Chaz is a tool.
5. Our bosses obvious prolonging of our budgets is no mistake. they are waiting till the last second so we are all forced to sign the horrible deal put in front of us.
6. Chaz and Boss Boss could care less about us making money, although that is what they repeat day in and day out "at the end of the day i want you to make a lot of money"
7. Chaz and Boss Boss only care about the station making moeny, and them being heroes.
8. Oh yeah, and Chaz is a sneaky little tool.

So, reader. What do we do? When together, we all wanted to think we would be badasses and sign nothing. Demand if they hold us at the highest level of productivity and accountability, they have to be ready to pay for it. And if they cant see that, then fuck off. We quit. But, the economy is in the shitter. What if we cant find work? So, we decided we are going to throw the shit right back at them. When they ask us "fill out this list, where is this client, how many meetings are you going on?" we are going to band together and ask "how are you making my job earlier, how are you promoting our station so people actually watch it, how are you getting our 2% audience closer to the 5% audience you demand?"

(note. we literally draw 2% of the audience watching TV at any given time, and that is a generous estimate. our bosses demand, and will further demand with consequences that we get 5% of the money that is going to be spent in our market. HOW THE EFF DOES THAT WORK?)

So, in short, i can honestly say, i am not signing their offer. I am demanding i get a raise, or that i have a budget that is actually going to yield me a commission. If i am billing 25000 in April, then make my budget 35000 so if i close one new deal, i will get commission.

What will happen? To be honest, i dont know, but without going into further financial details, i have proven that i am losing money while working at my job. Time to stick it to the man.

Learn the terms.

Ok. So since you readers are most likely not in sales, or in TV sales...here is how my pay structure works. You will soon learn, i am being robbed.

So, each of us account execs have monthly budgets, and all put together, in some fashion, those budgets make up the stations monthly target budget. These budgets range form (what i can gather) 45,000-100,000 a month for individual AE's.

No, each AE has their monthy billing, which is the amount of money they are getting from advertisers. I have 4 buying clients. My monthly billing for February was circa 35,000. This month, it is circa 30,000 thus far.

So, in order to make commission, you have to have your BILLING reach 75%. 75% is a magic number. Why? Because any amount of money you bill to put you above 75%, you get between 5-10% commission on.

So. My BUDGET last month was 42,000. My Billing was 35,000. That is 83% of my budget. So, I made a commission. The commission i made was only on 3500 of that total 35000 i billed. Why? the magical 75% number.

Yes folks. We do not make money, or see any benefits of anything under that 75% number. So, although I billed 35000, and in a normal world would make at least 1750 in commission, i only make maybe $175.

Seem fair? I didnt think so.

So...we are now awaiting our 2Q budget target numbers. Read the next post. I think you can follow along now.

Will closes a deal

So Friday I closed a deal. 5,000 a month, from a local car dealer. first local dealer on our air in like 2 years. pretty go win.

i was really excited, beacuse Rudy (now known as Chaz) was really stoked and maybe he will be off me...syke. He wants a close like that every week.

anyhoo, it felt good to make this deal because first off, car dealers have a shit load of money (at least this one does) so another 5K wont kill them. Also, it may just work. Not just saying that.

So, pray for more wins like that in Wills future.

Rock Bottom

Everyone hit rock bottom in their job, i imagine. The moment you REALLY realize you should have left 2 months ago when a more fun, less stressful opportunity came up at a college. Well, i am glad i didnt move that way, however, Will Loman did in fact hit rock bottom.

weekly sales meetings have been increasingly shitty as new management has stepped in over the past 2 months, but today, the shit storm really centered on TV Station, and namely Will Loman.

Rudy (who i know want to call Chaz, because when i think of Chaz, i think of a meat head, frat rat, who because he is smaller than everyone, must pick on those in funny little "im joking but i am not" cut downs) So, CHAZ, stared the meeting off happy and fun, we went through our usual bullshit, and when it came to "things to come" i knew we were all in for a real treat.

first thing to come: a little jar that if we get "called out on a mistake" we put 5 dollars into it. what was the first mistake? Will didnt bring a pad and paper to a meeting (that was supposed to just be a meet and greet with the big boss) so (in a Chaz tone, with a Chaz laugh) he goes:

So will is our first "call out". He went on a meeting and forgot to bring a pad and paper (apparently the 8th deadly sin) and when i asked him about it, he just points to his head, and says "all in hear bro".

I did do all of the above. But you know what? I also had ALL THE FUCKING FACTS IN MY DOME! He quizzed me, and i dominated him about what we discussed. So, that was the first kick to the nuts today.

Second. The new hours are 8:30 to 5:30. He went on and on about us being there all day. But just last week? WE WERE TOLD TO BE OUT OF THE FUCKING OFFICE. Jesus. Pick a preference. Granted I do leave Fridays early, and I do come and go as i Please, but i get my shit done. Maybe i need to put in 4 more hours a day of cold calling. To people who WILL NOT BUY US.

Third. The HAIR comments. Now, I have "long hair" right now. Does it cover my ears? No. Is it a mullet? No. Is it long? To everyday standards, no. Chaz LOVES to call me "boy band hair" and "why dont you comb your hair" and all of these would be FINE comments if we were friends. They are said in a friendly, shit talking way (much like my brother and i would make fun of one another) however, he is my boss, so you never know if he really means it. Runner and myself agreed today. He means it 85% and is using the 15% joke to mask that meaning. Jesus. Do i really have to have a fucking high and tight hair cut? what century are we in?

So, when i was leaving work (at 5:31 ma fuckas), my father called me. I was filling my car up, and I told him how i was about to quit. But do to other circumstances (like feeding myself) i didnt. He was completely helpful and understanding, but at the last moment, i will admit, i broke down. I started to cry, which i haven't really done since a close uncle died, because i am just straight up overwhelmed. How can i succeed if the station is set for failure, and some assholes are all over my ass? I am much more calm now after cleaning the shit out of my apartment and making a good dinner, but I really dont want to face the music tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the next. But i AM. Because i am not a quitter. I will find a new job in the next week. I will make my financial woes be answered, and i will fucking waltz into Chaz's office and tell him to fuck himself. His stallion is cutting loose. Oh yeah, and pay me for 2 weeks of vacation. hahahha.

Rudy.

You ever seen the movie Rudy? The guy who was short, stocky, decent at football, who busts his ass to make the Notre Dame football team? Well, the character physical attributes allow me to introduce you to my new boss: Rudy. After only one day, i cannot attribute the movie Rudy's tenacity to my new boss Rudy as of yet.

Today was our first Tuesday morning sales meeting, instead of the usual Monday morning one. Its nice. I like.

Rudy introduced himself to everyone, and seems like a nice guy. But dont we know by now all sales guys are supposed to "seem like nice guys?"

Thats not fair to judge yet. He worked for the station i interned at, and I was quick to bullshit chat with him because from what i hear, he is a bit of a frat brother. I can fake like i am a frat brother.

So, he moved into Barbies office, and I will meet with him 1-1 tomorrow. I guess thats all i got on that for now.

Sad. Depressing. I am sorry.

Monday proved to be a gossip day. Through a long convoluted chain of people telling people, "do not tell anyone this" and what not, Runner and I hear some rather sad news about Frat.

I get a call from an old coworker who I stay in contact with. She had just gotten fired form her job at an agency, but was rather resilient because she has savings, and she also is good at what she does, and was immediately getting calls for her to go elsewhere (she got fired just because of company wide cutbacks nationwide).

She had just gone to lunch, with Promotions chick and old National guy who is a big fan of Runner and Myself. It was a full bore gossip session. Who the new boss was, what he was like, and where the station was headed. Old national guy spilled some beans that i had caught wind one a small scale last Friday.

He told the girls that he didnt know where the sales staff would be come next week, (not inferring Runner or Myself would be shit canned) with regards to certain AE's. Within 5 seconds, these "certain" AE's turn out to be just Frat.

Apparently he has been drunk at work, or smelled like booze to no end, multiple times. Our assistants were called into the office last thursday to be questioned by the HR lady, and New Boss. They, like nice people, did not divulge any more information than HR already knew.

Old National also mentioned that in a Monday morning sales meeting, Frat smelled like booze, but was also drunk and nodding off.

Lastly, New Boss went on a meeting with Frat and there were empty hard liquor bottles in the back seat clinking around loudly, making it obvious they were there.

So. I guess Frat is an alcoholic? I really dont want to label him that, because that term is so lose and quick to judge. I could also seem him having such a hard time at this job, that he drinks and parties everynight, and smells the next morning. However, I will be the first to admit I have gone to a party before, and apparently his stench is no where near the normal morning after residuals.

I feel bed because if he is indeed an alcoholic, i feel horrible for not liking/judging him so harshly. However, on the flip side, him drunk at work could also explain his cursory remarks and loud obnoxious behavior, and really i feel no sympathy there.

I dont know what to think, except he is a sad case. Plain and simple. I will send him some karma, and see how this all plays out. Not a good situation at all. Yikes.

Pack up your Barbie.

Today was my last 1-1 with Barbie. She is moving upstairs to her new position. Is she happy about it? If the money is the same, maybe. I dont know anymore. I honestly do care about her. She has been a great boss to me, and gave me a shot when i had no experience. So i will always have her back. I will not look forward to telling her i resign. (but i CANT wait to move on to my next job when it comes).

So we quickly went through our bullshit about my pending accounts and shit.

This not only marks the end of yet another boss. It marks the last chill, non chalant meeting i will have regarding my accounts. New guy will be all up in my, as Borat says, "Anus".

Think good thoughts for Will in his pending job interviewed positions...

Birthday lunch.

Something positive happened at work today. It was promo chicks birthday yesterday, and the head business manager's birthday tomorrow, so there was a lunch planned for them at this chiche sushi restaurant. (for those who know me, yes...Will eats sushi now...and not just the tempura shit)

I somehow had missed the evite, and at around 10 i got an email with the list of names of those going to lunch. I was on a short list of about 10 names. The assistants, Jameson, Runner, Iret, Myself, and old national guru dude.

I had gotten a call this morning form my ex girlfriend who had an interview, and for some reason i dont know, i told her i would help her navigate the downtown SF parking situation, and drop her off at her interview, then have lunch with her. Without going into too much detail, this was a bad idea.

I told my assistant i couldnt make it. A sort of disappointment spread throughout the email chain. Once i said i was not going, some people started to say they were busy too. I immediately realized that, after Runner said he was out too, Runner and Myself are the backbone of the sales department, and the only glue keeping the department away from all out mutiny/depression/despair.

I immediately changed my plans, and told all i was ON BOARD. LETS DO THIS. FUCK YEAH!

We went to lunch, and it was great. It was all the good about TV station, all at one table. Thats when i realized the only thing i do care about this job is the people i have met, and have affected. I am praying and wishing something comes about these interviews, but i do dread the day i take Runner, Jameson, the traffic crew, and my assistants out to lunch to tell them...Loman....Out.

Moral Test

I guess we failed the test. Last week. Runner calls me in a panic.

"Will, I found Iret's pay stub in a legal pad i am using, do i look at it?"

"Runner, eh, whatever, i could prolly guess what she makes. Lets just let it sit there."

"Ok, but whats your guess"

(note numbers invented)

"60K"

"Yeah, same here."

-----2 hours later-------

Runner looked. He buckled. He called me. Asked if i wanted to know. I did. My guess was off. She makes 2x what we make. We are mad. Why? If we do as much work as her, are valued as high as her, do a bulk of her work, why are we not payed the same, or at least close to what she makes?

If i am forced to work in a dog eat dog world, then I should be paid accordingly. Runner and i both agreed. Good for Iret. No hard feelings. She is older. But TV station should pay those they value...and they dont pay us...but they need us.

"Announcements"

In lieu of the Monday morning meeting, we had a tuesday morning meeting due to the holiday. Nope. A day different didnt make the meeting any better. They news any more positive. The 2 problem salesman any more truthful.

Accountabilibuddy's newest tactic is to write up the agenda for the "quick" meeting on the white board. Todays agenda read as such: 1. Promo chick's birthday 2. Phone Jam Update 3. Barbie Pending 4. National 5. Promo chick 6. Announcements.

Lets go through each one briefly.

1. Self explanatory. However, side note. Runner and myself did go out and get her ice cream cakes since no one was doing anything for her, and she is our friend, but we emailed all users on the email, and it further solidified our position as "those two young guys who give a fuck about people here" so thats a good thing.

2. The phone jam? whats that? ohhhhhh, its a pretty way of bringing up the call bank we did a few weeks back. All Accountabilibuddy was looking for was a few sentences on where the meetings were in your scheme of getting new business money. Frat started. A jet stream of bullshit immediately began flowing. Then Bling Bling. Verbal Diarrhea began spewing, but it lasted literally 15 minutes. All just blah blah blah. Runner dropped his pencil in hopes it would make enough raucous to stop her from talking, and let us move on. Nope. He did this 2 more times, nothing. Jameson next. Short. To the point. Will Loman next. 2 sentences: "bulk of the meetings this week and next. one solid prospect thus far". Runner next, same. Old Iret next, a cliffs notes version of Bling Bling, not quite as bad. Then Accountabilibuddy speaks...his general message...step it up, make calls, and...last but not least $$$$$$$$$$$$$....we need more.

3. Barbie went through each account on the weekly pending we do for her, and asked us questions. this was dull until Iret's accounts came up. She mentioned and account. Jameson kicked me under the table. I looked over, and laughed with him. I had done all the work on this account, and it was due for submission before 2008 struck. Iret let it sit on her desk, and thus has missed the turn in date, and cost the station 100K in revenue. Had they given me the account, i would have closed the deal (not because i am any better, merely because it was an advertiser looking to do the same shit they did last year, maybe more. a fucking tee ball homerun really).

4. My new favorite person (old dude in national who complemented me on my good work when no other manager did) just talked for 30 seconds. Again, short, to the point. we all got the message.

5. Promo chick said 1 thing...nothing major.

6. "Announcements"....now what do you think that means? Anywhere else, maybe just simply that. Announcements like, "Friday is Hawaiian shirt day, so go ahead and wear a hawaiian shirt if you want" or "who is parking in the visitor spot, if its you, please stop" or "we are starting a bowling team, who is interested".

but this is TV station...so we know Accountbilibuddy, although smiling and saying "i have some great things coming down in the sales department"...anyone with 1/2 a brain realizes it is sugar coated shit (so, me, runner, and Jamesons and the old national dude pretty much).

here are the Announcements:

1. Barbie will no longer be our boss. New guy coming in will be in her office, all up in our shit. we will now hove 2 accountabilibuddies. YES!

2. Barbie will now be under a new title "new business niner blah blah development producer" At least she didnt get shit canned. And i know she didnt because she worked over New Pres at 2 prior jobs, and maybe has some shit on him that cant get leaked to the press. Good for her...but now the 2 people who hired me, and i liked working for, are leaving. Fuck.

Ever since interviewing for another job, i am seriously so checked out from TV Station, it is bad. I cant work there any longer. Seriously can not work there. I am praying to God, seriously because I am religious and know he has some influence on what happens, that I get some sort of job offer that can financially keep me at same level at New Company. All you readers...pray, or give me karma, or whatever, because LITERALLY every night, i have dreams that i hand in my resignation letter. What does that say?

No more announcements. Lemmings dismissed.

Do you have a minute...

Today I strolled in a little late to our 8:30 meeting because i was at the dentist. I rolled in with half my mouth as hell, and we were going over the phone contest. Bling Blin won with a whopping 18 meetings. There was no second place, because no one else got the qualifying 9 meetings minimum. whatever.

when i walked in, Frat was trying to explain at a mile a minute why all his meetings feel on yesterday, and trying to legitimize. His mind was working at 5000 RPM, his mouth could not keep up, or maybe it was the other way around. I really have no idea. In the middle of his jetstreaming bullshit, the New Boss was tapping his pencil, not making eye contact. Frat noticed this, and mid sentence said "New Boss, whats up? Is something wrong? You look concerned"

Now...i would not have said that for 2 reasons, one i wouldn't be lying through my teeth like that, and 2 because it automatically makes you admit you are full of shit.

So, we continued on, and it came to me, and in a slurred manner i explained my successes/failures. It was also a crock of shit, but i had 4 meetings, legit meetings, and I owned up to that. No big deal.

SO...about an hour after getting to my desk, and dealing with some real work on accounts spending cash money, i get an email from New Boss regarding some paperwork. I immediately email him back that myself and the other lady in a different department had already taken care of it.

My phone rings 2.6 seconds after i hit send. The ID: 1200. New Boss.

"Will, do you have a minute, mind popping up here?:
"Sure, no problem, you need me to bring anything"
"No"

I start panic mode. I close my personal email. I close my other email, and I bold to Runner desk.

"New Boss called me in, your thoughts"
"Prolly wants to discuss an account"
"No way, this is a different type of meeting"
"Uh oh"

My thoughts exactly.

As i walked up the stairs, I racked my brain. Did he see a resume? No way. Does he watch my computer and see what i write? Maybe? Does he know I am looking for other jobs? Probably. Does he tap my phone, and know I am shitty at cold calling? Most likely.

The list goes on, all rather fucked up things a person my age probably shouldnt have to worry about.

I get in his office. Sit down, he walks, closes the door. Rut Ro.

He sits down next to me.

"Will, whats up?"
"Not much Boss, just cranking away, dealing with some account maintenance"
"Good, good. Hey I just wanted to talk for a second. I want you to know that you and I were once in the same boat. Young, in a pretty high sales position, and we are both people persons"
"Ya.."
"And i just wanted to say, i think you are going to make a killing here. You are our rising star, and I think you need to see that, and you need to work with us to make yourself money"
"Whoa, thanks Boss"
"No, get back out there, lets get some money in here"

we then conversed about what i told him my weaknesses were, a great tactic when you were just told you were great. makes them know that you know you are not perfect, and that you are aware of your flaws. he agreed with my little flaws, downplayed them, and i left the office.

relieved? yes. obviously. however...upon further thought...he must know i am looking to bounce out of there. maybe Kristy knows, maybe he just knows i am not happy there. i think he said that to bullshit me into wanted to stay. i know he cant afford to lose me at that station. he can not afford to lose runner to. so...i have to remember he is in sales, and he is damn good at it. so...where do i fit in into his "closeable" business category, and where does this little 1-1 fit in?

Boiler Room

Well, as expected, New Boss had us do a phone bank. We met at 8:30 and went over our prospects, and then were tossed to the sales room floor to make our calls. Even he was making calls. There was a 200 dollar bounty for the person who makes the most meetings my COB Monday. 100 dollars to 2nd place. No "everyone else is fired" however.

You ever seen Glengary, Glenross? I just lived it.

The newer lady, who is all about bling bling, and in my professional opinion, is worthless, was running up to the board left and right writing her meetings under her name (yes, there is a score board folks). Within an hour, she had 9 meetings.

Now, i have been doing this for a year, and my cold call pitch is pretty good, and today i got two, runner got 3, older lady irish women got zero.

So, i think this chick was calling people she had already talked to...or her sales pitch was ZERO% sales. I mean, if i called and said "this is austin from tv20, we want to maybe feature your business on tv, can i come down and see whats up with you guys?" i would get unlimited meetings. But that is cheating. All those meetings you make, none will close because you dooped them You tell them its freed, then you ask for their credit card.

she can have the 200 fucking dollars. I dont give a fuck. But dont fucking cheat.

i didnt mind it too much. cold calling sucks, but once you get the voicemail (mind you we were calling at 9:30 am, so we all should be getting a lot of voicemails because no one takes calls in the morning i have leaqrned, yet Bling Bling lady seems to knock out 9/20...pretty good batting average)

Will Loman survives another day in TV station.

Side note: BEst line from Glengary: ABC...Always be closing. You call yourself a salesmen? Drop that fucking coffee. Coffee is for closers.

Bling Bling will not be getting coffee, even if she does have all the meetings and the 200 dollar bonus

Accountabil-i-buddy

New Boss is my new "accountabil-i-buddy". What is that? Its a dude who is all up in your shit 24/7. Its someone who is always asking for some accountability about your "prospects" or your "targets" or your "leads" or your "lists".

He is every salespersons, including my boss Barbie acountabili-i-buddy. He asked her, straight up "what have you been doing this past year?" I think she may have cried that night. Fuck You Buddy. WE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO CLOSE NEW BUSINESS...but we have also been kissing the ass of these existing advertisers to keep giving us SOME fucking money to keep our station afloat.

New boss has something up his sleeve. I think some poor suckers are going to be on the chopping block.

This entry is all over the place, because I am watching Glengary Glenross, why? Because we have a phone bank tomorrow. What is it? Its all us salespeople making cold calls while our new lovable "acountabili-buddy" sits and listens and watches. I am not scared because i dont give a shit about my job really, but some people are quaking in their boots...

more to come tomorrow.

"at the end of the day"

What the fuck does that really mean, "at the end of the day"? New boss man of the station says it ALL THE TIME.

"at the end of the day...it is all about who you call"
"Will, at the end of the day...you will make a lot of money..."

Maybe its my wary intuition about this new boss, or maybe i hate buzz terms like that, but i am starting to laugh inside every time he says it...which is every other fucking sentence.

Unexpected eyes on me

Today, a former workmate of mine, who moved on to bigger and better things, emailed me to tell me she had just had lunch with the national sales manager of TV Station...and he had some interesting things to say about me, and Runner.

I immediately thought to myself, oh fuck, did i mess with one of his accounts? Does he even notice me?

Well, apparently he takes good note of what us AE's alllll do on the local side.

Among things he said:
"Did you hear Will pulled in and closed money from Subway? We NEVER have been bought by Subway."
"Without those two [will and runner] i don't know where this station would be"

I was pretty stoked to hear that from a semi outside source, because my managers fucking had the audacity to say "Will you only got 2.5% of subway's money? next quarter get more"

That is the story of our station...and all sales...nothing is ever enough.

I called in sick today, due to soar throat, a freelance job that will pay my a couple hundred bucks to do something i enjoy, and i got to get my shit together.

Last note. One my future job endeavors...I JUST received and email from a dude at Goodby...he loved my cover letter, and he wants to see my work!!!! I am scared, because i am not to fond of my work...and reluctant to send my website his way because they are the most elite, creative ad agency in the world!!!

Wish me luck.

Will Loman is alive and well

I apologize for the long hiatus. The holidays came, they have gone. Now, I have lots to catch up on....

1) I renegotiated my contract for the next 3 months, and lets just keep it short, and they made it so starting in February, I will be getting at least $5 in a commission check. Whoa. Stop the press. That makes my financial whoas all better. Not.

2) The saga/hilarity/depressing Frat saga continues. Today, we were supposed to mock agency presentation on a huge piece of business that was up. Jameson, the veteran went first, did a great job, no complaints form management. I went second, did good, a few issues, but no complaints, everything looked great. Runner went third, he did awesome, as expected. The dream team stops there. Frat went, and before he even opened his shit, (Mind you this is a mock presentaiton, bosses were taking very seriously), her was blurting out how he was sick on friday (assignment given 7 days prior) and how he couldnt get the right numbers (idiot) and bla bla bla. His presentation was 35% complete, at best. Boss1 was speachless. His response: Get your shit together. That is unacceptable.

3) It was Jamesons birthday today. Runner, the 2 assistants, promotions chick, and myself were only ones in attendance. It quickly turned into Jameson bitching about all that is going on. I agreed with lots of his points, and if i were him, i really would be upset about my job and the lack of accounts he was handed.

4) I have applied for another job that i really want to get an interview at (no shit). It is at a huge ad agency, and I dont know the specifics of the job, however i REALLY WANT IN this company. My hours would double, my commute would require Will to take public transportation (yowsers) and who knows abotu the pay. Why leave TV Station? sales...i just dont know if i am a true true salesman. I am good. I enjoy talking/interacting and relating with people, but i think there are other professions that deal with thos strengths, but in a better way.

5) i am freelance editing for a friend of a friend (runners friend) and i am cutting this post short, because i have to get back to this project.

6) Will Loman is back on the posting...stay tuned. TV Station always has a story.