Today was Halloween in the office. Need I say more? No, but i will.
Everyone in the sales office dressed up...yes I did. I wore my Lithuanian B-ball jersey, and some basketball shorts, and was Sharunis Marshalonis. For you Warrior fans out there, or for you Lugans out there, you get it. Barbie was a pirate. Runner was a monk (hilarious), Nam wore his Army fatigues (he is still inactive Army national guard), Jameson didn't wear shit, and was the total "i am too cool and too busy for this shit" d-bag, Boss1 seemed to not have dressed up, but come party time, he was Mao Tse Dung (hilarious). Now, the new lady (50+ mind you) wore a short mini skirt, black tights, and a "baseball jersey" that was a glorified wife beater top. When asked what she was in the sales meeting, she simply, and completely honestly said "a slutty baseball player". Holy shit, she lost a lot of respect from me, and Boss1. Lady, its one thing to give in and dress up in something lame because Barbie is throwing aparty for the station, but its another to act like your in college. Class it up, this is a place of work. Although, i am the first to admit sometimes it does not feel like one. Frat waltzed in late, and when he did, Barbie, who I do not think meant to have the tone of this next comment be condescending or flat out hilarious, but when he came in undressed, and rather "normal" she said, "what are you?! A tall person?" Lets just say, it sucked the oxygen out of the room and made for some slight chuckles.
Now, th second story i have i am reluctant to tell. I am beginning to realize Frat has been the center of my last few posts. I must admit. His large personality fucking consumes a lot of my time and energy at work. He is way loud on the phone...thus i hear all that he does all day.
Today. He called both 911, and the FBI. Yes, you read it correctly. 911. FBI. All because he discovered a fraudulent posting on Craigslist. My man, when someone on that site asks for cash in advance, or a paypal check, red fags should go off immediately. It should not escalate to you almost sending your credit card info, and then trying to file an FBI report to get your time spent back.
Anyway. I buzzed my head today because i have a big meeting tomorrow. I am going with Barbie, and it is for a huge company we have never been given money by. This was all my work. I am the one putting this all together, and I am going to dominate. I am currently looking in the mirror, camo jacket on, saying "you looking at me? I know you ain't lookin at me." And I am way more bad ass than DeNiro. I will close the shit out of this deal tomorrow.
Goodnight now.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
4 letter words
I realize i swear a lot in this blog. Rorrrrry. there is a decent amount of swearing occurring in the sales office. this is actually ok due to the stress and overall amount of "no's" we encounter.
a few weeks back, i was at a golf tourney with runner, barbie, and Boss1. yes, it was on a work day, and no, no work was getting done, unless you call a MEAN slice and shitty putting work.
i hit the shit out of this ball, probably about 300 yards. I, not loudly because i know golf educate, but at a normal level, said, "fuck yeah"
Barbie made a slightly sarcastic, slightly serious comment about swearing. Boss1 quickly jumps in and says "agr, its our Irish heritage, there are no better fucking words than 4 letter words to describe out feelings"
had to be there, but it was hilarious.
Oh shit. There was just an earthquake while posting this. Awesome.
a few weeks back, i was at a golf tourney with runner, barbie, and Boss1. yes, it was on a work day, and no, no work was getting done, unless you call a MEAN slice and shitty putting work.
i hit the shit out of this ball, probably about 300 yards. I, not loudly because i know golf educate, but at a normal level, said, "fuck yeah"
Barbie made a slightly sarcastic, slightly serious comment about swearing. Boss1 quickly jumps in and says "agr, its our Irish heritage, there are no better fucking words than 4 letter words to describe out feelings"
had to be there, but it was hilarious.
Oh shit. There was just an earthquake while posting this. Awesome.
Homework?
I brought some work home to do tonight. I need to crunch some numbers for this proposal due tomorrow. I am not going to do it. I checked the "homework gene" when i shook the hand of El Presidente at my skool.
today, "amazon", who was the new tall dude, who i want to call Frat from now on, really almost made me burst in "what the FUCK?!'s " This morning, he comes into my cubicle, and dropped a pile of chick scratch on some papers. He grunted to me "he, can you look at my list and cross off whoever you are already calling on"
now, lemme give you a little frame of reference. At TV station, there is a communal hard drive where we have a "master list." This is the Torah of the sales office. You simply send your new clients you have "dibs" on to Jefita and she regulates, and updates the master list. Now, when you see some hot new lead, you simply cross check everyones list to see if they have taken dibs on it, and if not, you shoot a cute little email to everyone and say "hey shitbirds, I am now calling on [insert dead end lead here]."
Simple really.
Now, when i received the chicken scratch papers with what appeared to be a third graders handwriting on it, with the orders to basically do all the work Frat has to do for him, i was a bit perturbed. Now, to you guys, this may seem inconsequential. Maybe it is. But maybe it was the way he went about asking me to do this. It was not in a kind way. I replied to him "Frat, what you can do is make your own list in Excel, and cross check it with everyone else's, super easy."
Frat replies "Will, come on man. It will be way easier for me if you guys just all go through and cross off your clients so i dont have to." [Insert record scratch here]
Now, i did eventually cross off this shit i have. I gave it back to him in a cordial manner. You readers may see me as not giving this homeslice a chance from the get go, and mama brought up he was rather self conscious, but if you heard the way he spoke to clients, and the way he grunted these orders to me, you too, would think he was a through and through tool box.
today, "amazon", who was the new tall dude, who i want to call Frat from now on, really almost made me burst in "what the FUCK?!'s " This morning, he comes into my cubicle, and dropped a pile of chick scratch on some papers. He grunted to me "he, can you look at my list and cross off whoever you are already calling on"
now, lemme give you a little frame of reference. At TV station, there is a communal hard drive where we have a "master list." This is the Torah of the sales office. You simply send your new clients you have "dibs" on to Jefita and she regulates, and updates the master list. Now, when you see some hot new lead, you simply cross check everyones list to see if they have taken dibs on it, and if not, you shoot a cute little email to everyone and say "hey shitbirds, I am now calling on [insert dead end lead here]."
Simple really.
Now, when i received the chicken scratch papers with what appeared to be a third graders handwriting on it, with the orders to basically do all the work Frat has to do for him, i was a bit perturbed. Now, to you guys, this may seem inconsequential. Maybe it is. But maybe it was the way he went about asking me to do this. It was not in a kind way. I replied to him "Frat, what you can do is make your own list in Excel, and cross check it with everyone else's, super easy."
Frat replies "Will, come on man. It will be way easier for me if you guys just all go through and cross off your clients so i dont have to." [Insert record scratch here]
Now, i did eventually cross off this shit i have. I gave it back to him in a cordial manner. You readers may see me as not giving this homeslice a chance from the get go, and mama brought up he was rather self conscious, but if you heard the way he spoke to clients, and the way he grunted these orders to me, you too, would think he was a through and through tool box.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Bring your Mom to work day
Friday was the unofficial bring your mom to work day. Apparently i was the only one who knew that in my office.
when i announced to the select few that my mom would be around the office to see what it is her youngest is wasting his time with, it quickly got broadcast around the sales department that Will's mom was coming. w-o-w. It quickly brought about a level of hysteria, question, judgment, and advice.
Jefita told me i better be on my best behavior, and that she couldnt WAIT to meet my mom. She is so radical it is not even funny.
Everyone else didnt understand why the fuck i would have my mom come by my office. they almost thought it was bizzarre, not because it was, but because they couldnt relate. I guess i have a rare relationship with my mom. I am stoked if she wants to come to my office, i call her once a day at least, and i care about what she thinks and what her insight may lend. Apparently, I am in the minority in my office. Granted, maybe that is because i am the youngest...only by 3 years. Runner is the same way with his parents, but he was out of town.
My mom was well liked, and I was happy she came by. She picked out the new guy pretty easily, and told me he was standoff-ish and cocky because he was self conscious. I think this has a ring of truth. i have been a bit more open to him...until the next time he tries to gank my clients.
when i announced to the select few that my mom would be around the office to see what it is her youngest is wasting his time with, it quickly got broadcast around the sales department that Will's mom was coming. w-o-w. It quickly brought about a level of hysteria, question, judgment, and advice.
Jefita told me i better be on my best behavior, and that she couldnt WAIT to meet my mom. She is so radical it is not even funny.
Everyone else didnt understand why the fuck i would have my mom come by my office. they almost thought it was bizzarre, not because it was, but because they couldnt relate. I guess i have a rare relationship with my mom. I am stoked if she wants to come to my office, i call her once a day at least, and i care about what she thinks and what her insight may lend. Apparently, I am in the minority in my office. Granted, maybe that is because i am the youngest...only by 3 years. Runner is the same way with his parents, but he was out of town.
My mom was well liked, and I was happy she came by. She picked out the new guy pretty easily, and told me he was standoff-ish and cocky because he was self conscious. I think this has a ring of truth. i have been a bit more open to him...until the next time he tries to gank my clients.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Lunch meetings.
Lunch is my only escape from TV station, well to some extent. I guess i can "go on a call" whenever i want, but there is a lot of accountability for that, so you really dont want to burn those fake calls unless you realllllly need to.
so, our station is in the ghetto of City. We have to drive to lunch if you dont bring a lunch. i have yet to bring a lunch because, i need to get the fuck out of dodge for an hour or so every day. today, i had to work at lunch, i had to meet a potential client. buzz kill.
i went to this place called "The old Crab Shack". It is within walking distance to my office. Need i say more, or did i not mention we are in the "ghetto." It actually, according to YELP, had great reviews. my porcelain and 1br apt beg to differ. If you have been blessed to visit Rye, NH, there is a place there called Petie's. This is the west coast Petie's. Look out.
Long story short, i dread having to sell during my sacred lunches, but this dude was cool. He was about 35, and he inquired about advertising on our site. Everything i said, he agreed with. Was he sold on the product, or was he just really nice and didnt want to shoot me down. I dont think he can afford anything we can offer him, which sucks. i can sense a sort of struggle in his voice, and he wants to get his company to grow, and i think he has the skills, not the overhead. I give this a 50% close probability. I hope for his sake, I can work something out. He had a kid who was 18. i know he was 37. do the math, i can only feel for the dude.
i got back to the office, and was in nap mode due to the fried shit i just put in my belly. i started working on our "assignment" (what are we in fucking high school). we all are assigned to a TV station in our market. There are 8. We are battling for the bottom. All others but one are an affiliate (FOX, NBC, CBS, etc). We have to look at all their programming, the sales staff there website, and all revenue generators, and see where we beat them, and where we can beat them.
Shh, dont tell the teacher Barbie, i already know the answers. WE DONT BEAT THEM AT ANYTHING. Maybe we beat them at one thing. TV20 has Runner and Will Loman slanging Ice for them...
so, our station is in the ghetto of City. We have to drive to lunch if you dont bring a lunch. i have yet to bring a lunch because, i need to get the fuck out of dodge for an hour or so every day. today, i had to work at lunch, i had to meet a potential client. buzz kill.
i went to this place called "The old Crab Shack". It is within walking distance to my office. Need i say more, or did i not mention we are in the "ghetto." It actually, according to YELP, had great reviews. my porcelain and 1br apt beg to differ. If you have been blessed to visit Rye, NH, there is a place there called Petie's. This is the west coast Petie's. Look out.
Long story short, i dread having to sell during my sacred lunches, but this dude was cool. He was about 35, and he inquired about advertising on our site. Everything i said, he agreed with. Was he sold on the product, or was he just really nice and didnt want to shoot me down. I dont think he can afford anything we can offer him, which sucks. i can sense a sort of struggle in his voice, and he wants to get his company to grow, and i think he has the skills, not the overhead. I give this a 50% close probability. I hope for his sake, I can work something out. He had a kid who was 18. i know he was 37. do the math, i can only feel for the dude.
i got back to the office, and was in nap mode due to the fried shit i just put in my belly. i started working on our "assignment" (what are we in fucking high school). we all are assigned to a TV station in our market. There are 8. We are battling for the bottom. All others but one are an affiliate (FOX, NBC, CBS, etc). We have to look at all their programming, the sales staff there website, and all revenue generators, and see where we beat them, and where we can beat them.
Shh, dont tell the teacher Barbie, i already know the answers. WE DONT BEAT THEM AT ANYTHING. Maybe we beat them at one thing. TV20 has Runner and Will Loman slanging Ice for them...
Tank top Tuesday
I woke up with a massive ear infection. Not.
I surfed all day, and called in sick. Bad Karma my way, maybe, but to be honest, it was a mental health day. It was 85 degrees where i live, the surf was as good as it gets, and my uncle was off as well. i woke up early, turned my blackberry on, called my radical "assistant" jefita, and she covered me, and told me to get better, and take two days, haha.
i wore a tank top all day. it was awesome. the surf was good. and i missed NOTHING at work.
best tuesday i had in a LONG time.
I surfed all day, and called in sick. Bad Karma my way, maybe, but to be honest, it was a mental health day. It was 85 degrees where i live, the surf was as good as it gets, and my uncle was off as well. i woke up early, turned my blackberry on, called my radical "assistant" jefita, and she covered me, and told me to get better, and take two days, haha.
i wore a tank top all day. it was awesome. the surf was good. and i missed NOTHING at work.
best tuesday i had in a LONG time.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Monday Funday
Most Mondays suck, but once i dragged myself out of bed, 5 minutes of extra snooze due to my ridiculous reunion weekend of drinking a little too much, i made it, and I knew it would a decent day at worst. I had our usual meeting, Boss 2 tried to dominate me, unsuccessfully, because with his surly banter, you just have to give it right back. I had a big new business sales pitch, my first one really, with Barbie and the promotions chick. In the meeting, my boss almost didnt even say a word. I was completely in control. and i killed it. everything i said just made sense to them. i really think they will close, and i actually really think what i am offering them will work. rare for TV station. That was not my highlight.
I forgot to mention the two sales assistants that help us (really work for us) Slangers (sales people). One i will call Jefita (roughly means little boss). She is a single mom, probably about 40-45 years old, little to no "traditional" education beyond high school. But believe you me, she is the most compassionate, and intelligent person in our office. She is my number one fan, and I hers. She is one of the nicest, hardest working people i have ever met. She puts her kids through private high school, and her kids are also equally as hard working and nice.
So, in no other circumstance would physical appearance come into play in this blog, this anecdote calls for it. Jefita is a heavy set women, and her kids are as well.
Today, early in the morning before everyone else gets in, i get a call from Jefita. Mind you, we work in a bull pin. Ever Slangers cubical is rather open, and the assistants are in the middle. you can more or less hear everything that is going on. this is methodically put into effect to breed competition. something i am beginning to fall into since New Dude, or whatever i called him, has come into play.
Jefita is semi whispering to me, so i know she doesnt want everyone to hear this convo, so i do the same. she started asking me in spanish about her daughter, and an essay she needs to write on prejudice. I had to stop her and and tell her to switch to english because i was losing her. she did.
she said, "Austin, you are so smart, and you seem to know everything, do you think my daughter would write a good essay about experiencing prejudice about her being a gordita (not a mean term, literally means a little big in spanish)?"
I went on to explain that i think that would be a great topic, as long as she felt comfortable talking about it, Jefita went on to say she was, and that was the end of the convo.
I was absolutely flabbergasted with flattery form this gesture. I am not that smart, and i am not the best writer, and she could have asked any other Slanger (Account Exec), but to be honest, and to toot my own horn, i think she asked me, because i am the most respectful and considerate to the two assistants. I really like Jefita, and she made my day by thinking i was a "smart" enough guy to pick the topic for her daughter. Little does she know, she is worlds smarter than me in millions of ways, and she could have told her daughter the same thing.
Tomorrow, i am coming down with a really really bad ear infection. I dont think I will be making it into work. **Note, everyone in the office heard me making rumblings about this ear infection. Why did i choose that ailment to be my cover...because you are not supposed to go in the water with that...meaning they wont suspect a surf trip with my Uncle Buck. He and I are playing hooky. Well, me, more than he.
I forgot to mention the two sales assistants that help us (really work for us) Slangers (sales people). One i will call Jefita (roughly means little boss). She is a single mom, probably about 40-45 years old, little to no "traditional" education beyond high school. But believe you me, she is the most compassionate, and intelligent person in our office. She is my number one fan, and I hers. She is one of the nicest, hardest working people i have ever met. She puts her kids through private high school, and her kids are also equally as hard working and nice.
So, in no other circumstance would physical appearance come into play in this blog, this anecdote calls for it. Jefita is a heavy set women, and her kids are as well.
Today, early in the morning before everyone else gets in, i get a call from Jefita. Mind you, we work in a bull pin. Ever Slangers cubical is rather open, and the assistants are in the middle. you can more or less hear everything that is going on. this is methodically put into effect to breed competition. something i am beginning to fall into since New Dude, or whatever i called him, has come into play.
Jefita is semi whispering to me, so i know she doesnt want everyone to hear this convo, so i do the same. she started asking me in spanish about her daughter, and an essay she needs to write on prejudice. I had to stop her and and tell her to switch to english because i was losing her. she did.
she said, "Austin, you are so smart, and you seem to know everything, do you think my daughter would write a good essay about experiencing prejudice about her being a gordita (not a mean term, literally means a little big in spanish)?"
I went on to explain that i think that would be a great topic, as long as she felt comfortable talking about it, Jefita went on to say she was, and that was the end of the convo.
I was absolutely flabbergasted with flattery form this gesture. I am not that smart, and i am not the best writer, and she could have asked any other Slanger (Account Exec), but to be honest, and to toot my own horn, i think she asked me, because i am the most respectful and considerate to the two assistants. I really like Jefita, and she made my day by thinking i was a "smart" enough guy to pick the topic for her daughter. Little does she know, she is worlds smarter than me in millions of ways, and she could have told her daughter the same thing.
Tomorrow, i am coming down with a really really bad ear infection. I dont think I will be making it into work. **Note, everyone in the office heard me making rumblings about this ear infection. Why did i choose that ailment to be my cover...because you are not supposed to go in the water with that...meaning they wont suspect a surf trip with my Uncle Buck. He and I are playing hooky. Well, me, more than he.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Karma.
Iret, my fellow salesperson, brought bad, asshole thoughts to my head today. I named her Iret for a few reasons, but one is because it sounds similar to IRATE.
A few weeks, maybe a month back, Iret comes into my cube to ask me to clear time to go meet with one of her leads up in Marin with her because she "doesnt get web advertising, and you seem to know what is going on with that." Fine, i say, gladly go up and talk to these jokers.
We go. The meeting starts off with the marketing director very skeptical, not thinking there was ANYTHING he would want to buy/partner with. thats when i brought up our TV show, how he could be featured, how we host it online, and pretty much dropped some KNOWLEDGE on this fool, and got him SOOOO hooked on us. Body language told me he was in for the kill.
The killer part was I told him we could do an entire show (BOKU $$$), but only if he had the content to cover a 1/2 hour of a show (no one watches, haha). this is where the dude confided in us about the business model (a tell tale sign of lets sign the dotted line and get you some commission.) The end of the meeting pretty much spelled out he would soon be a 25K-50K spender.
When we were leaving, Iret took me to lunch, told me about how we will split all the leads, how I can call the other people...yada yada yada.
Needless to say, a few days later, i hear her in her cube, calllllinnnnnnggggg all the leads, and taking all the clients. No thank you. No nothing.
Today, in our daily morning "are you filling holes in this sinking ship or fucking what?!" meeting, she told stories of grandeur about her 2nd meeting with them. They will not be a 25K client. They will be a 150K client. Great. Glad i helped out.
To further put me over the edge, and literally get me pissed and feel semi cheated for the first time since being at TV station, she made another off hand comment about her winning the incentive trip due to these new clients. I had to say something since she belted this out.
"Iret, ever hear about not counting your chickens before they hatch? Maybe you should get the order before you jinx the money coming in"
Oops. My bad. I slipped. Greed is an ugly beast. I feel bad i fell into the salesman in me. But what the fuck. Are any of you with me?
Fuckit. I made some calls, talked to a SHADY buyer in New York and dropped that my cousin was FDNY and NYPD, i am in. I left work at 3 and went surfing. That is my release. TV Station and WiLL Loman are even for the day.
As for Iret Irate and myself. I took a deep breath, and I realize, she is twice my age, struggling, stressed out, and needs the money more than i do. Again, even this defense for her getting this cashola holds little water. I too am broke. I too would like to make more money, and I too work as hard as she does. But granted. Her age alone makes me want her to have the cash, who knows what would happen if she didnt keep this job.
I either evened the karma scale back to Zero by telling her to "shut the fuck up" ever so lightly with my comment on the sales floor, or maybe not.
A few weeks, maybe a month back, Iret comes into my cube to ask me to clear time to go meet with one of her leads up in Marin with her because she "doesnt get web advertising, and you seem to know what is going on with that." Fine, i say, gladly go up and talk to these jokers.
We go. The meeting starts off with the marketing director very skeptical, not thinking there was ANYTHING he would want to buy/partner with. thats when i brought up our TV show, how he could be featured, how we host it online, and pretty much dropped some KNOWLEDGE on this fool, and got him SOOOO hooked on us. Body language told me he was in for the kill.
The killer part was I told him we could do an entire show (BOKU $$$), but only if he had the content to cover a 1/2 hour of a show (no one watches, haha). this is where the dude confided in us about the business model (a tell tale sign of lets sign the dotted line and get you some commission.) The end of the meeting pretty much spelled out he would soon be a 25K-50K spender.
When we were leaving, Iret took me to lunch, told me about how we will split all the leads, how I can call the other people...yada yada yada.
Needless to say, a few days later, i hear her in her cube, calllllinnnnnnggggg all the leads, and taking all the clients. No thank you. No nothing.
Today, in our daily morning "are you filling holes in this sinking ship or fucking what?!" meeting, she told stories of grandeur about her 2nd meeting with them. They will not be a 25K client. They will be a 150K client. Great. Glad i helped out.
To further put me over the edge, and literally get me pissed and feel semi cheated for the first time since being at TV station, she made another off hand comment about her winning the incentive trip due to these new clients. I had to say something since she belted this out.
"Iret, ever hear about not counting your chickens before they hatch? Maybe you should get the order before you jinx the money coming in"
Oops. My bad. I slipped. Greed is an ugly beast. I feel bad i fell into the salesman in me. But what the fuck. Are any of you with me?
Fuckit. I made some calls, talked to a SHADY buyer in New York and dropped that my cousin was FDNY and NYPD, i am in. I left work at 3 and went surfing. That is my release. TV Station and WiLL Loman are even for the day.
As for Iret Irate and myself. I took a deep breath, and I realize, she is twice my age, struggling, stressed out, and needs the money more than i do. Again, even this defense for her getting this cashola holds little water. I too am broke. I too would like to make more money, and I too work as hard as she does. But granted. Her age alone makes me want her to have the cash, who knows what would happen if she didnt keep this job.
I either evened the karma scale back to Zero by telling her to "shut the fuck up" ever so lightly with my comment on the sales floor, or maybe not.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Growth.
today we had 2 new suckers start.
Amazon: a guy under 30, maybe around 30. he is legit 6'8". he has some sold sales experience. my first impressions were nothing stellar. maybe because on some levels he is my competition.
red: a women in her late 40s to early fifties. i ask myself, why is she starting a job here at her age. why at TV station? i could judge, but in all honesty, i am seeing that there is not much upward mobility for mediocre TV sales dudes.
i had one sales pitch today to a start up in my hometown. it went well. one co-owner knew his shit about TV, so, there was no need to dumb anything down. it was short and sweet. will they buy what i am pitching? i give myself a 70% shot. maybe somewhat optimistic. we will call this company NASA for future references to a close/pass. the general gist of this meeting actually falls directly in this blogs title 'slanging (because selling was taken) to Eskimos."
CEO: Loman, thanks for traveling down here.
ME: Good to see you...insert stereotypical BS banter back and forth.
CEO: Loman, we got the same thing you are offering with TV station for free at Better TV Station. Why should we go with you?
ME: (in my mind, i congratulate him, and simply say, touche!). Well, you bring up a good point, to be honest, let me look at the show segment (i am selling product placement in a TV show generally speaking) and if it looks like you will get nothing out of TV stations deal, then, god luck.
CEO: Well, true, but lets see....
I could get into it, but i just love when someone has beaten me to the punch, tapped the proverbial keg before i get to fill my cup, and all around get me good. I still give NASA a 70% close possibilty due to my overall honesty, and general number crunching i get to have someone else do for me.
last 2 points. I have an assistant, and a few other people who i can get to do anything i want pretty much at the click of "send" on my email. Although i have never sensed it, i imagine being the age i am, and the age they are...they are not to stoked on the few (and i am talking bare minimum things) i ask of them.
final point. my level of productivity on a scale of 1-10 was a 7. I do not enjoy sitting on my couch eating dinner, thinking about the 13 people i have to call tomorrow to ask for "THE CLOSE". I have called the same people the past week. No call back. What is going on in their mind when they see my number on caller ID?
my blog is too long. i will work on that.
Amazon: a guy under 30, maybe around 30. he is legit 6'8". he has some sold sales experience. my first impressions were nothing stellar. maybe because on some levels he is my competition.
red: a women in her late 40s to early fifties. i ask myself, why is she starting a job here at her age. why at TV station? i could judge, but in all honesty, i am seeing that there is not much upward mobility for mediocre TV sales dudes.
i had one sales pitch today to a start up in my hometown. it went well. one co-owner knew his shit about TV, so, there was no need to dumb anything down. it was short and sweet. will they buy what i am pitching? i give myself a 70% shot. maybe somewhat optimistic. we will call this company NASA for future references to a close/pass. the general gist of this meeting actually falls directly in this blogs title 'slanging (because selling was taken) to Eskimos."
CEO: Loman, thanks for traveling down here.
ME: Good to see you...insert stereotypical BS banter back and forth.
CEO: Loman, we got the same thing you are offering with TV station for free at Better TV Station. Why should we go with you?
ME: (in my mind, i congratulate him, and simply say, touche!). Well, you bring up a good point, to be honest, let me look at the show segment (i am selling product placement in a TV show generally speaking) and if it looks like you will get nothing out of TV stations deal, then, god luck.
CEO: Well, true, but lets see....
I could get into it, but i just love when someone has beaten me to the punch, tapped the proverbial keg before i get to fill my cup, and all around get me good. I still give NASA a 70% close possibilty due to my overall honesty, and general number crunching i get to have someone else do for me.
last 2 points. I have an assistant, and a few other people who i can get to do anything i want pretty much at the click of "send" on my email. Although i have never sensed it, i imagine being the age i am, and the age they are...they are not to stoked on the few (and i am talking bare minimum things) i ask of them.
final point. my level of productivity on a scale of 1-10 was a 7. I do not enjoy sitting on my couch eating dinner, thinking about the 13 people i have to call tomorrow to ask for "THE CLOSE". I have called the same people the past week. No call back. What is going on in their mind when they see my number on caller ID?
my blog is too long. i will work on that.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Background.
I am a salesman. If you asked my 1 year if i wanted to go into sales, i would have laughed. if you ask my now if i like sales...well thats why i am writing this blog. we shall see.
i started 6 months ago, give or take a week. friday was my first close. what lead up to that, well a lot of bullshit, a lot of hilarity, and a lot of what-have-us.
i sell for a TV station, and I beyond that, i will divulge only a few things. a tv salesman sells airtime. i like to think i sell dreams. not. it is a station that you would get if you had only rabbit ears on your tv, so it is a channel that is better than a cable channel, because EVERYONE gets it. (Most people dont know this, but only 60% of people have cable, in the area where i slang.) thus, one may deduct I work for an advertisers dream station. in theory, my station reaches 100% of the market. in theory.
no you have about as much of an idea of what tv sales entails as i did when i started. so, we are somewhat even.
to part, i will introduce the characters i work for and with.
Bosses:
Boss1: my bosses boss. a tough, old man who smokes 2 packs a day, and has been in the tv buying/selling business since before i was born. he is terrified by all except me and Runner (will describe him later)
Barbie: now, this is my boss, and i dont use that name with a negative connotation. she is the best boss i have had as of yet, and i have nothing bad to say about her over all 6 months i have been there. good stories to come about that.
Fellow "ice" salesman:
Runner: (14 months at TV station) partner in crime as of late. he and i are more or less the golden children of TV station.
Iret: (15 years in industry, 13 months at TV station...going on 3 days) my cube"mate". her cube is just on the other side of mine. i can hear everything, and she can hear everything. i am in ear shot of her, which will come to be very cumbersome in posts to come. she is a cancer survivor, and the most stressed out person i have ever met.
Shady: Fired.
Jameson: (5 years at TV station...13 years+/- in industry) approaching mid-aged in years, adolescence in maturity. he is wise, loud, and hooks me up with hints, leads, and tips to make me successful and above all other relative rookies.
Jonesy: (20 years +/- at station) on a different side of sales...semi considered a boss. little to no interaction ever.
Crystal: Quit. Still a friend to runner and me.
Nam: (3 months with TV station) Silent. Awkward at times. this guy makes me feel like i am in elementary school again. every time i see him, i feel he is an outsider, and i try to bring him in the club, but he just misses the boat every time.
more as it comes up. tomorrow, i continue attempting to close deals with the powerful Eskimos.
i started 6 months ago, give or take a week. friday was my first close. what lead up to that, well a lot of bullshit, a lot of hilarity, and a lot of what-have-us.
i sell for a TV station, and I beyond that, i will divulge only a few things. a tv salesman sells airtime. i like to think i sell dreams. not. it is a station that you would get if you had only rabbit ears on your tv, so it is a channel that is better than a cable channel, because EVERYONE gets it. (Most people dont know this, but only 60% of people have cable, in the area where i slang.) thus, one may deduct I work for an advertisers dream station. in theory, my station reaches 100% of the market. in theory.
no you have about as much of an idea of what tv sales entails as i did when i started. so, we are somewhat even.
to part, i will introduce the characters i work for and with.
Bosses:
Boss1: my bosses boss. a tough, old man who smokes 2 packs a day, and has been in the tv buying/selling business since before i was born. he is terrified by all except me and Runner (will describe him later)
Barbie: now, this is my boss, and i dont use that name with a negative connotation. she is the best boss i have had as of yet, and i have nothing bad to say about her over all 6 months i have been there. good stories to come about that.
Fellow "ice" salesman:
Runner: (14 months at TV station) partner in crime as of late. he and i are more or less the golden children of TV station.
Iret: (15 years in industry, 13 months at TV station...going on 3 days) my cube"mate". her cube is just on the other side of mine. i can hear everything, and she can hear everything. i am in ear shot of her, which will come to be very cumbersome in posts to come. she is a cancer survivor, and the most stressed out person i have ever met.
Shady: Fired.
Jameson: (5 years at TV station...13 years+/- in industry) approaching mid-aged in years, adolescence in maturity. he is wise, loud, and hooks me up with hints, leads, and tips to make me successful and above all other relative rookies.
Jonesy: (20 years +/- at station) on a different side of sales...semi considered a boss. little to no interaction ever.
Crystal: Quit. Still a friend to runner and me.
Nam: (3 months with TV station) Silent. Awkward at times. this guy makes me feel like i am in elementary school again. every time i see him, i feel he is an outsider, and i try to bring him in the club, but he just misses the boat every time.
more as it comes up. tomorrow, i continue attempting to close deals with the powerful Eskimos.
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