Someone leaves

Barbie decided to leave today. Forced, or on her own free will i dont know. But below is the email i sent her. She is, after all, my first boss, and took a chance on me. I owe her, and know i have battled with her, but i do wish her the best.

Dear Barbie,

I have to admit I am shocked you are leaving, but I am also confident you are headed to bigger and better things. You have been working to get with Warren Miller since our sales call to Tahoe (great trip by the way) and I am so happy you will be a part of something with him.

I have to write you because you are officially my first “real” boss. You took a chance on me, and thus you allowed me to start my career at such a great place. I think it should be a real testament to you that Puga and I have “survived” the ever changing TV20 because you were the driving force along with Denny teaching us and keeping us going.

I think your first boss is like your Kindergarten teacher, you never forget them (Ms. Rose, room 1A, Brown hair). I know that wherever I end up in the next year, 5 years, and beyond in my pursuit for my place in the corporate world of media , I will always be calling on my experience here at TV20, and the boss who took a chance with me all because of my website and experience as a captain of a sports team. For that, I am ever grateful to you.

I am always here and will always be here to help your kids through their water polo careers, hit Squaw slopes with you, or grab a beer of cocktail somewhere here in the city of the Peninsula. In the mean time while you are here, I will allow you to break the news to the Kitchenworks of our world the sad news you are leaving. You have been a staple here at KOFY for 25 years, and it is sad to see the change is ever present here. I am so glad you are headed to produce…that was always an itch you wanted to scratch!

Best of luck. Never delete my cell phone number or email!

Cheers-

Will

It "brought a tear" to her eye because she knows "i have so much potential in any field i choose." I hope her the best.

Accountabili-buddy Round 2

He is back...this time in multiple forms. He is not just Chaz calling me into meeting after meeting about where my accounts stand, what i have pending, and so on and so forth...The Accountabili-buddy has become ever present in multiple forms.

It started with an email from the CEO of the company that owns TV station. He began it with a simple economic lesson he cut and pasted from his recent issue of the Wall Street Journal. It then bled into a "we are freezing wages...we are making cut backs...i am taking a 12% salary cut...but i am still flying to each and every station i own in a private jet..."

Our station is pretty trim, and my job is not in limbo, but i fear others jobs are. I have made some new business closes, but it is just not enough for this sinking ship. i just stumbled upon a piece of paper that as I stand right now, I was responsible for 15% of the money brought in November. Between runner and I, we bring in over 45% of all the money in the station, yet we are by far the lowest paid. We see our new found colleagues sitting at their desk, collecting their six figure base, not even caring about making new business help keep this boat afloat.

Anyway, there are too many thoughts in this head about what I have to do about x, y, z client tomorrow to convince them that they should spend what little or no money they have left on me and marketing to people who have no money to spend on them...it is an interesting beast i call a job.

The Call Center formally known as an Office

We have a cold call room now. Equipt with 1980's phones and an internet connection. sales staff. go ahead and feel free to go make 10-20 cold calls in there a day. just use it. i know it is hard to call people with 8 other people in there. so hop up there. it will be fun.

oh, and by Friday. send me a status report with all your 2009 annual new business client meetings you have schedule this week.

thanks-
chaz

_________

yup. that is what we are working with. this level of "flame-under-ass" will only be ratcheted up exponentially. I am thankful i didnt leave jobs, because at the other place i would be lowest on totem pole when chief little shorts decides to chop heads. here at least i am the 2nd longest lasting AE.

again. lets pray i make some huge closes to keep lil Chaz off my back, and lil guy here off the chopping black.

Tightening our Belts

It has been a little over a month since my last post. Since then, there happened to be the biggest stock market crash since, well i dont know my economic history all the well, but since before i was born. We all know what has ensued via the government etc.

well, to date TV Station is doing alright actually. Each quarter we are growing, and in comparison to all other broadcast station here in our beautiful area, we are the only one retaining, if not growing. everyone else...is struggling. a precursor may have been a "jewelry now" advertisment playing in prime time during the Olympics a few months back (that is ridiculous that a 150 buck spot ran where a 45,000 buck spot should have) but hey, lets look forward.

so, as 2009 marketing plans start to get laid down, Chaz and his bosses, and their bosses, are really on our asses to close new business. today we were told to close new business so "the company does well, so sales looks good, and oh yeah so you make money". the last cheviot of sorts right there really is the last thing on our bosses mind. they dont care if we make money. they care if we make our budgets. But, although todays sales meeting was rather laid back, the stress is slowly starting to rachet up, WAY up.

so, to help with our revenue, we partnered with another station in our area, who carry real shows like LOST and OPRAH. OOOOHHHHHPRAH. Fuck yeah, love that show. This partnership is a joint sales effort. we have a "package" to sell to clients for 12 months. spots run on their good programs, and our. we split to revenue. everyone wins. right? this is the focus on all our backs. our boss has us making cold calls, or at least is trying, like none other. here is were the global recession is starting to affect my life...

we have cold called, i have met with, and truthfully, i have KILLED it with a few new business clients. I have presented unreal deals, that really would work for their marketing. all these deals are in the pending mode. a year ago economically, i would have closed 100% of these, with all confidence. i am sure of it. but this year, everyone is "taking a sharp pencil to all expenditures" or "trying to figure out what to keep, and what to halt, and what to even market" or my personal favorite from a client "Will are you fucking kidding? have you read a news paper. we are NOT trying new advertising right now."

our bosses have to know this. our bosses have to know what we are up against on a rival station front, and also on a economic front. but they sure as shit dont show it. no no. fearless leaders can never admit to weakness. so we have to trudge on. pray that i get at least 1 of these pending deals to close, and ride this wave with the rest of U.S. American.

Bernie from "Weekend At Bernies" Lives on my commute

Dudes. So this is a commuter blog. Every day, well days i work past 5:30, haha, there is this dude on a rather busy street i drive home on, and I am going to do my best to describe the homie because he is legit Bernie from weekend at Bernies. If you have not seen that movie, tune in to shitty cable station sometime in the middle of the weekend and i guarantee it is on somewhere.

so this dude stands in front of his house, facing the street traffic. he always has 80s round, mirrored sunglasses on with a USC sweatshirt, and short shorts. Honestly for visual on the dude, do a quick google image search for Bernie.

The guy stands legs should width apart. he spreads his arms to maximize his wingspan, almost in a crucifix stance. He then begins doing a half squat. actually, tht is too generous. a 1/3 squat. No headphones, no ipod, no portable a-track player, but the man is rocking out to something funky in that dome.

Once he gets the squat going, he takes his left hand and brings it into his chest, as if doing a sobriety test. At this same rhythm, he lifts his right leg, straight, like kicking a soccer ball. He then switches, right arm, left leg. He then switches. All to the beat of the cars, and by cars, I mean the Richard Simmons Mix tape.

I witness all this in about 15-45 second increments, and have seen his routine from start to finish. After the street side aerobics, the dude goes for a run.

These aerobics are so strangely orchestrated, the only real way to relate it to normal human action is the way Bernie was strung up and carried around like a Marionette Doll. Man I wish you could see this awesome workout. If he videoed it, he could air it on TV station and I swear it would actually be one of our top programs for the fat old ladies who watch our station.

"She got off the hook and slipped away"

Yesterday was a shitty day in my sales world. 2 deals fell through in the matter of about 10 minutes. all done over email, which is bullshit. i mean, if i have to pitch you in person, if i have to slave away and swallow my pride and kiss your ass in person to get you to listen to me, at least pick up the phone and tell me why it is you cant fit my plan into your plan. both marketing concepts i devised, were flawless. they were cheap. they were creative. they reached EXACTLY who they were trying to reach, but at the end of the day, going with something new just doesnt sit well with people.

So deal 1 was for this auto show. that alone has red flags all over it. anything with the car industry is sleazy by nature, and in this day and time, has no money. however, the ad agent i was working with has been around since the stone ages, legit is about 80 years old, and in theory, works by the old boys network codes. this means, if i do him a solid, he does me a solid. this simple concept made it only right for him to throw me a bone.

a few months back i had our editorial department to cover his client on some bullshit story. it was not news worthy, but they did it anyway because money was promised from this future HUGE event.

i worked back and forth with him and handed him EXACTLY what he wanted. the last meeting we had, he was repeating "we can only do our best" and shit like that, which is now a clear red flag.

anyhow, he said he met with the sleaze balls, and they passed on our "great idea". the dude emailed me this, and basically screwed me over.

deal number 2, with a new development tonight, may not totally be dead, and this is ONLY because i reasoned with the marketing director and my idea was literally too good to pass up. This is too boring of a story, so I will just keep you on the edge of the seat to see if any cash money comes out of it.

Anyhoo, when i forward these to Chaz, he came running to my office, and kinda cracked me up. he was screaming "damnit. she came off the hook! She came loose. Lets get it back on"

He also told me he will break the old dudes balls because he totally effed us on this whole "scratch my back, i scratch yours".

Oh shit**. My car got broken into, but they didnt steal shit

About 6 weeks ago, i am walking downtown and come across a pile of broken car window glass. What would a normal human think? nothing most likely. Oh sucks for that guy. But what does Will think? Let me tell you...

I run into a store and ask for a plastic back. I go back to the glass, and scoop all of it up into the bag. I put this bag in the trunk of my car, where it sits for 6 weeks... waiting for the perfect target at the perfect time. 

So, last week, the dude from our competition got rear ended. nothing major, but his car was in the shop getting painted. 

So, home boy was driving his girlfriends car. 

PERFECT SITUATION. 

I get Runner in on this. We notice the guy going into a meeting with our boss. I run into his office, and find his car keys. Runner is taking photo documentation of this entire deal. 

I get the keys, grab the glass, and head to the car, which is perfectly parked outside Runners window. I turn car on, and roll down the passenger side window. I spread the broken glass along the window, sill, and the dump the pile below the window, where the glass would naturally fall. I run back inside, put keys back in, hop back at desk. Business as normal. 

Lunch rolls around. 

Home boy gets keys, and walks outside. At this point, a few other friends at work (cool dudes, will talk about later) have piled into Runners cube watching this as it unfolds. He falls for it hook line and sinker. He is pacing around his car face bright red, Runner snapping pictures away, Office watching rolling on the floor. Homey starts walking back into office. Again, we dart to desks, business as usual. He comes in "my car window is smashed and they didn't steal anything. what the fuck"

Runner gets camera, begins showing him photos from "a playboy party to cheer him up" . They are a montage of his car, him finding car, him searching car, him red in face. He is so flustered, he is confused. I go "Hey Cron, roll up the window. Its not broken."

Entire office start DIEING. Him included. I am on the floor laughing, he is hyperventilating because it is so funny. He cleans up car, and marks it as the greatest work prank ever. 

Where is Autumn? No joke, in her cube, not acknowledging any of this, and when I sit back at my cube, all i hear is a "ughhhhhhh. Godddddddddddd"